I Choose Life After Death
by Liso66
Summary: The Reapers have been destroyed. Jane Shepard made a promise to a certain Drell. They would meet by the sea. Her crew scrambles to save her after finding her broken and burnt body on the Citadel. Will Kaidan be able to give Shepard the peace she desires? Or will she be stuck in the (In between) Tragedy/ heartbreak/ friendship/ love / Rated M for language, adult situation, and sex.
1. Chapter 1

**AN/ ****Thank you, CCBug, and my grammar OCD husband. Your beta skills rock!**

**I hope you all enjoy. **

**ƸӜƷ**

**I Choose Life After Death. **

Muffled sounds filtered through her ears. Shepard could make out the crashing blows of metal and glass flying around her protected cocoon nestled between large fragments of the broken citadel.

_Take me to the sea._

A bright orange glow pulsed from the catalyst. Her blurred vision caught the refractive light as it spread from a single point, and illuminated the starry sky_. _

Idly, Shepard wondered if her decision to destroy all synthetic life was the best option. Everyone could be alive, coexist, and fewer losses would be suffered.

Joker would've lost EDI. The Geth would all die, leaving the Quarians without the help the Geth could provide, quickening their acclimation on their home world.

_Take this opportunity to learn from this, my friends_.

Pain wracked through her body. Shepard rarely complained, although, this pain was something more, even more than when she had been spaced during the collector attack; worse than dying the first time.

_I promised you would not be alone for long, my love. _

She fully intended to keep this promise. One she could embrace fully. He was waiting, she knew it. She could feel the pull, the desire, and the welcoming of his arms. Shepard promised him on his death bed - by the sea, they would meet.

"_What of, Irikah?" Shepard asked tentatively. _

_Thane's large black eyes fluttered rapidly. He smiled and took her hand. "Irikah woke me from my battle sleep. You, Siha," he gently squeezed her hand. "You brought me to life." _

"_I can't take you from her," Shepard confessed sadly. _

_Thane released her hand and stood. He came around the small table in his quarters in life-support and offered a hand for her to stand with him. He pulled Shepard to her feet and into an embrace. The soft low gravel of his voice vibrated at her ear, sending a chill over her skin. _

"_I loved Irikah. She'd awakened me to a world I long left behind. A world full of understanding, faith, and a son – a son I abandoned. I haven't enough time to repair all the damage I have done."_

_Shepard tilted her head back so she could see into his eyes. She wasn't sure if it was a drell thing or perhaps a Thane thing only. His expressions were hard to read, unlike a human. The only tattletale sign were his eyes. They seemed to soften and glistened with unshed tears. _

"_There are many types of love, Siha," he began to explain. Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead, pulled back fractionally and continued. "My love for you has caused a deep unsettling within me. An undefined anger I am unable to reconcile with prayer and meditation. I had accepted my death, and now I pray for more time."_

"_I don't understand," she interrupted. Her brows furrowed in confusion. _

_Thane reached up with his hand and smoothed over her forehead with a fingertip. "I will explain as best I can."_

_Shepard backed up to the edge of the table, lifting up on her tiptoes; she scooted her bottom onto the surface and dangled her legs loosely on either side of his. Thane released a throaty chuckle at the sight. His fierce Siha, warrior goddess; how she could look so sweet and playful at times. _

"_You loved the major," he started to say. When she looked as if she was going to protest, he muted her words with a chaste kiss on her lips. He rose from the kiss and continued. "Your lives changed. You died, or had been frozen on that planet, well preserved for Cerberus to bring you back. I've considered several scenarios._

"_Two years is a long time to separate for humans. Your minds can work all sorts of circumstances and reasons in that period. He felt you betrayed the Alliance and him, you felt he abandoned you in your time of need. No real time had passed for you, Siha, but for him, two years of pain, grieving, and moving on was already behind him. This altered what you had with one another. _

"_For a drell, all memories are clear and perfect. We do not lose our feelings as humans can. We can alter through new events, but the past is as clear as our present. _

"_Irikah will always be in my memories, and my soul. Our lives together opened up a new world for me – a world of creating life, rather than ending it." _

_Warm, soft leathered hands held Shepard's face between them. Once such a foreign sensation now welcomed and desired. _

"_We are cut from a similar cloth, you and I. We fuel one another, we understand the danger our lives bring, and the difficult lonely choices we are forced to make every day. You, my goddess warrior, are the breaths my own body can no longer take on their own, the warmth that presses against my skin, when the chill from my sins cause me to tremble, the soul that keeps mine alive when the gods are calling me to the sea." _

White hot pain seared through her body, bringing her back to the present. The muffled sounds of debris flying, started to quiet. How desperately she wanted to close her eyes, make peace with what she had done, and although she did not have a faith or religion of her own, Thane's beliefs penetrated her desire to have life after death, if only to be with him.

"Shepard – Shepard, do you read me?"

A voice came over her partially melted comm. But whose? It sounded familiar, and yet, far too distant for her to recognize.

Another voice sounded in her ear. The crackling of the damaged commdistorted her ability to make it out. "Shepard, your metabolic readings are off the chart. We can't pin point your location. Are you on the Citadel?"

Her burned lips cracked when she moved them, blood seeped from the damaged tissue. Her voice, where was her voice? She couldn't speak. Her throat burned, felt constricted, with just enough passage-way for shallow breaths.

"Goddess, how are we going to find her?"

Another panicked voice echoed through her mind.

"Well. If I had that answer, I'd have already plotted course to find her."

Joker: even with her cotton filled mind, she could identify the snarky comments from her pilot.

_I'm here. _She thought to herself. She had no words. Did she even wish to be rescued? Gods, she was so tired. Shepard closed her eyes, sleep is all she wanted. No, that wasn't true. She wanted peace… and Thane.

Minutes, hours, maybe even days had gone by? Shepard woke groggily, confused, and amazed how much effort it took to blink the goop from her eyes. The sky had darkened. Debris floated in the space's atmosphere. She could make out the lights of a few ships still orbiting around the shattered Citadel. Where had the rest gone? How many survived?

The questions caused a brand new ache in her head. By this point, she was able to compartmentalize all her major discomfort throughout her body. Her legs felt twisted and curled under her unnaturally. Her right arm was immobile and pressed to her side. She felt like she could move her other arm, but lacked the will to bother trying. Every small breath burned her lungs, and every movement pulled at her scorched skin.

Shepard closed her eyes again, but this time sleep didn't come. Voices, the same voices she heard over her comm, this time not crackling in one ear, but echoing through the broken metal around her.

"Garrus, scout out the area with your thermal scope," one of the voices instructed.

"On it," Garrus agreed.

Garrus, thought Shepard. Or had she actually spoken? Her lips were cracking again, the flesh tore and bled.

"Over here!" someone shouted. "Damn…"

What had they found?

"He was a tough old bastard. Amazing he made it up here with her, and none of our sorry asses did."

"She forced us to evac to the Normandy."

Yeah, well… I should have told her, fuck you, and run with her anyway. It would've been worth the ass chewing later."

She recognized James. _Fuck you, indeed, you chulo insubordinate._

"You can tell her that, if we find her, lieutenant."

Kaidan, she realized. Internally, she couldn't help but laugh. She was in no position to rain terror on anyone.

"Lieutenant, you and Cortez take Anderson's body to the Normandy. He deserves a hero's funeral." Kaidan instructed.

"Hell no. Not until we find Shepard."

"That's an order, lieutenant."

"Fuck you."

Shepard reached up to her commwith her good arm. She was surprised how easily it obeyed her. The pain made her scream out, and with every ounce of energy and focus, she yelled out. "ENOUGH!"

All grew silent for a moment.

The familiar set and click of Widow was the only sound, all other chatter had ceased.

"Over here, I'm getting a heat signature!" Garrus excitedly called out to the others.

The sounds of clearing heavy materials kept Shepard from falling back into a deep sleep. The slight movement of her arm, and yelling out a single word exhausted her.

"Son of a bitch. How are we going to move her?" Vega asked.

"Very carefully," said Kaidan.

She could feel her body shifting and being slid onto a flat surface. Now far too spent to even open her eyes, she fell unconscious.

When Shepard awoke, she scanned the room with her blurry eyes. White lights, bright and painful to look at were blaring down at her. She tried to move her one good arm, but was stopped short by tubes and wires. The sounds of monitors and machines were bleeping, pumping what sounded like air. Her mouth was agape with a large tube down her throat, taped and secured on her face. Her mind was fuzzy. They must have pumped her full of pain killers. She couldn't untangle her thoughts.

"You're awake," a quiet graveled voice announced. "I'll go get the nurse."

All she could manage was a moan of protest. Kaidan came into view over her bed. She looked at him, trying to beg with her eyes, not to leave just yet. She'd kiss a reaper willingly, just to be able to speak.

Kaidan smiled awkwardly and left the room. A nurse followed him back in moments later.

"I paged her doctors. I'll check on her meds, and equipment. I suggest you leave for now, Major." The nurse's voice was brisk and all business.

"No way am I leaving," Kaidan insisted. "You have no idea what we went through to find her. Everyone else wrote the Commander off as dead."

"She is not out of the woods yet, Major. I wouldn't get your hopes up."

_Neither would I._ Shepard silently thought.

"Get out!" The major commanded, his voice now full of contempt and ire.

The nurse left, but not before she finished her thorough check of Shepard's equipment.

"Don't listen to her." Kaidan soothed as he settled back into the chair at her bed side. "We all know you have beaten the odds before, and this time you were found alive."

She must have fallen back to sleep. When she was aware again, a team of doctors were looking her over, writing notes, and having a discussion between them.

"I've had some field medical training. That's not to say I understand all the medical jargon, but if you all could fill her team in on any prognosis, I know they'd all appreciate it. We've been here all week waiting to hear any news, and have gotten none."

All week? Had she truly been in this facility that long? The moments she'd been awake, she could think clearly, or so she thought. Perhaps her muddled mind only perceived clarity.

"Hey, Shepard," Kaidan's familiar greeting rang in her ears. "You had me worried, again. You've been sleeping for 3 days. They keep a vigil eye on you, but we need you to try harder. You have to want to get well, Commander. We have been taking turns sitting with you."

Had they? The few times she has woke up, only Kaidan had been by her side. She had to want to get better… but did she want that?

Tired, so damn tired.

In her thirty-four years, she had lived several lifetimes. She had given all that was left of her, and more. All she wanted was peace. The wrong voice kept infiltrating her ears, her mind, and no one would allow her the peace she sought.

With sheer will, she lifted her good arm, just slightly. Her fingers wiggled in the air, and the major took this as a sign to hold her hand. She pulled away and shaped her fingers into a writing form. No one ever wrote anymore, not with datapads so easily used, reused, and connected to the wireless extranet. Pens and paper were rare, and considered antique keepsakes, although, she had no idea how to make a sign for wanting a datapad.

Kaidan took her hand once again, and it caused frustration. Tears escaped her eyes. She was Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel, and now she was some cry-baby, hooked to machines.

Another attempt to ask for a way to communicate was made and the major finally understood. He left the room, and came back with a datapad in hand. He positioned a pillow, laying the pad down and gently guided her hand over it.

She didn't need a clear view of the pad to tap out a message. She could write a book on these things, blindfolded.

Shepard set the all caps key and tapped out her message,

LET ME GO, PLEASE.

She watched as Kaidan fixated on the datapad. His eyes stared unblinkingly. She waited for him to respond.

Nothing.

The major shot up in one fluid motion, and left the room. Shepard felt more hot tears cascade down the sides of her face, and into her hair. Darkness took over, and she was falling back into a deep sleep.

**ƸӜƷ**

_No pain. No mangled legs. No bruises, burns, or cuts. Shepard stretched like a cat, reveling in the feeling of wellness. She could smell brine in the air as she took in a deep cleansing breath. Waves crashed against jagged rocks and sprayed her face. The sensation was cooling and invigorating. _

"_Siha." _

_Nothing sounded better than his voice, the name he gave her. She was well, and he was here. She turned and saw his shaded form, the sun settled behind him, making him appear ethereal. His silhouette changed to colors of lively greens and reds. His black eyes shone with affection. _

_Thane stopped his stride towards her. Alarm marred his typically perfect calm features. Shepard looked down at herself, a flicker as she faded in and out from the scene. Slowly, he resumed his steps and reached out for her to take his hand. Nervous hesitation set in, she worried she would disappear. _

"_Come with me, Siha," he said reassuringly. _

"_Is this only a dream?" Shepard asked before reaching for his hand._

_He didn't answer. _

"_I can smell the sea, taste the salt on my lips, and feel the arid heat from the sun. I can't be only dreaming, can I?" _

"_Not exactly," Thane offered no further explanation. _

_Shepard stopped, halting him with a tug of his hand. "Tell me then, what exactly?"_

_He sighed, and looked deeply into her eyes, searching for something, what, she had no clue. He must have found whatever he was looking for because he didn't try to pull her along and relaxed his stance. _

"_I do not have all the answers you seek. I have only theories," he explained sincerely. _

"_Okay," Shepard said, as she sat in the sand, patting a spot next to her for him to join her. "Most plausible theory?"_

"_You are between two worlds. You are either holding on, or," he trailed. _

"_Or what?" she prompted for him to continue. _

"_Or, something is keeping you in between," he shrugged as he answered. _

"_That's pretty vague, Thane," _

_" Indeed," he agreed. "I am as confused as you. I felt your arrival. The awareness pulsed through me."_

_They sat in a companionable silence. Shepard leaned in and rested her head on Thane's shoulder. She had dreamed of moments like this. Moments they could just be together without the weight of the galaxy pressing down on them. _

_His hand glided across her waist and snuggled her in close. Acutely, she was aware his breathing matched her own, unlabored and clear. His voice still rumbled as was typical of a drell. She'd secretly hoped that wouldn't change, and was pleased to find the gravelly tones still made her shiver. _

_Slipping both arms around his waist, she tucked her head under his chin and pressed her ear against his chest. "That has got to be the most beautiful sound I've ever heard."_

_Thane chuckled. "Neither of us is adorned with scars, as well,' he pointed out to her. She reached up and trialed his fingers with her own. The nasty red scar she had down the length of her neck was gone._

"_Huh," she mused. "I hope you are not like the krogan, and find scars sexy." _

_Thane placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his own. "You are sexy, always." _

_All she could do was smile like a school-girl. It slightly embarrassed her, and she could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. _

"_Shut up and kiss me already," she demanded, covering up her discomfiture. _

_Gentle lips pressed into her hair, down her cheeks and with more fervor, Thane claimed her mouth. There were no worries of pending danger, a mission at the back of her mind, or worries over everyone in the galaxy. This was just her and him, and she melted into his kiss. _

_The smooth leathery feeling of his mouth pressed against her suppler one. Somehow, they fit perfectly. Two different species in perfect harmony, _

_Shepard felt as if she were falling through his arms. Thane's gasp put her on full alert. She was fading. The last thing she heard was his cries for her to find her way, whichever path that would make her happiest. _

**ƸӜƷ**

"Hey Doc, she's waking up," James said. "The major is brooding about something and has called a meeting of the Normandy crew. This is my comm frequency. Just give me a shout after you check her over, yes?"

The doctor rolled her eyes at the lieutenant now barking orders at her as if she were under his command.

"You'll be the first I contact Mr. Vega," she said blandly.

"Uh-huh," he replied, annoyed. "You've no idea what she means to all of us, true? So keeping us in the loop, no matter the time of day is not a simple request. If I have too, I'll post someone here, always."

"Noted lieutenant," her acerbic tone softened, if only a bit.

James smirked and took his leave. Next stop, find out why the major was in such a snit.

A private dining room was given to the Normandy crew at the hospital, along with a set of apartments that may have been nice before the reaper war. Now, they had cracked and broken walls, wooden floors were splintered and some had gaping holes where the wood planks were snapped out like toothpicks.

A basic plumbing had been rerouted, but showers and such were on a schedule to reserve clean water. Only one water treatment plant in the entire county had been left in working order, now serving over four million people. One, five minute shower, twice a week wasn't leaving anyone smelling like roses.

They were restricted to flushing toilets once a day. James took to finding a bush more than once, mostly to save himself from smelling his tiny bathroom he shared with Cortez and Donnelly. Steve caught on and started doing the same. Sadly, Donnelly didn't seem to care about the raw sewer odor in their cramped quarters.

Rounding the corner of the hospital corridor, James ran into Tali, literally. Sparks had her head down and eyes fixed on a datapad.

"Hey, Sparks. You might want to reconsider reading and walking at the same time," he teased. He couldn't see her face, but if body language told him anything, and it often did, Tali had blushed. Cute.

Tali placed the datapad into one of her many environmental suit pockets. It still baffled him, how one little quarian could carry more in her suit, than an old lady stuffed in one of those big handbags.

Tali shuffled foot to foot nervously. "Sorry, Vega. I have been tasked with splitting up the dextro-amino food storages Shepard acquired while scanning for resources."

"How long will they last, do you estimate?" he asked. He knew the quarians and turians both relied on the food unique to their digestive systems.

"Quite a while, if my calculations are correct," she said, shifting her stance again. "We do not need to eat as often as humans."

"All righty then," James said. "So, I guess taking you out for a big steak and beers is out of the question?"

"If the beer is ultra-pasteurized and triple filtered with an induction port, I can drink that."

"I'll work on that, and let you know," he said laughing. "We'd better get to this meeting. Mr. Uppity pants may pull rank on us."

"He's just worried about Shepard, Vega. You may want to cut him some slack, he and Shepard have a lot of history."

"Yeah – yeah. So goes the rumor mill. I just don't get it, not even a little bit. Those two are like tequila and champagne. You'll never find them at the same parties."

Tali giggled. James really liked listening to her talk and laugh. She had a musical way about her.

"Which one is the tequila, and who would be the champagne?" she asked, giggling more.

James snorted. "As if you had to ask."

"C'mon, let's get this over with," Tali encouraged. "Maybe it won't be so bad."

"Maybe," he agreed skeptically.

Everyone had already taken a seat, James and Tali were the last to arrive. The major sat himself at the head of a long cafeteria style table. A datapad lay in front of him, face down, and his hands were folded together atop it. He took a seat next to Scars, and Tali sat across from them, next to Liara.

All were huddled at one end of the long table. All fell silent when Alenko cleared his throat. He stood, bringing the datapad with him, and held it to his chest.

"Shepard," his voice thick with some sort of emotion Vega, nor the others felt easy about. Perhaps be knew something they didn't?

"Take your time, Major," Liara said understandingly. The worry on her features was as tense as he felt. James glanced at her, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Thank you, Liara," Alenko tried to smile, although, it came out more like a grimace.

He looked back down at the datapad and then his eyes scanned all of the faces in the room. "Shepard's health is declining. Her medical team said she isn't fighting. That she slips into a deeper sleep for longer periods at a time."

"Is there no hope, Kaidan?" asked Liara. More voices joined in, asking much the same. "All that time she held on after the citadel explosion, just to find out we're going to lose her anyway?"

Kaidan's voice dropped low and miserable. "I believe she doesn't want to come back."

"Bullshit!" Vega bellowed. He took a cursory glance around the room, all eyes on him. "It is, and you all know it! No one fights as hard as Shepard and just gives up when the fight is over."

The major tossed the datapad he had been holding into the center of the table. No one reached for it at first. It was Garrus who reached out and slid the pad closer to him. He read the short plea and passed it on. Slowly, everyone looked at the message, and James was last to see it. He picked it up and bolted from his seat.

"This, this load of crap is what has you in such a mood? She is drugged out of her mind, and in pain! You are going to let this get to you? Maybe…maybe if she had time to heal…" James challenged all of them.

He looked down at the datapad once more, and chucked it with such a force, it shattered against the far wall of the dining room. While everyone seemed fixated on the broken pad, James stormed out of the meeting and made his way down the corridor to his commander's room.

Heavy footfalls came up from behind him and he turned his head to see who it was. Alenko was running full force and passed him by without a word. Shepard. Something's happened. James picked up the pace, easily catching up with the older officer. A small voice in the back of his mind was being petty and he enjoyed an inner laugh as the more winded man got a view of his backside as he passed him by.

The commander's door had two armed guards standing in their way. James tried intimidation, but they were not going to budge. The major tried to pull rank with the soldiers. That didn't work either. They both claimed to take orders from a higher ranking officer. Who the hell around here was higher than the major?

A gruff seasoned voice called to their attention. All four men automatically saluted. Admiral Hackett stood before them, full of implacable authority.

"Shepard went into cardiac arrest. Major, you and your crew will stay out of the doctor's way," he ordered. He then turned his attention to James. "Lieutenant. If I hear you are trying to bully any of the medical staff I handpicked to care for the commander, you will be removed from this facility and placed on clean up duty until further notice. Are we clear?"

"Crystal, Sir." James acquiesced. He remained standing at attention until dismissed. Before he was released, Alenko was given permission to enter Shepard's room once the doctors were done working on her. He walked off heavily away from the scene, seething, and made his way towards the barrowed apartment.

**ƸӜƷ**

Sitting on a cold metal bench outside Shepard's room, Kaidan listened to the short commands and bustle on the other side of the wall. She had gone into cardiac arrest. How long had they been trying to stabilize her before Admiral Hackett called him over his com?

He stood abruptly as more machines were being carted into her room. Kaidan paced, while waiting for any bit of news on her condition.

An hour passed when finally one of her doctors exited her room. "Major Alenko," the doctor addressed him with a curt nod. "The commander is in critical condition, and no longer considered stable. We'd hoped she may be ready to breathe on her own soon, but she's now fully on life support."

Kaidan swallowed hard. He truly believed if anyone could cheat death twice, it would be Shepard. Her small but desperate message came flooding back to the forefront of his mind. She was begging for an end. Maybe James was right, it was all the morphine and pain she'd been going through.

He knew her better. Better than the lieutenant, anyway. Liara may have had some feminine insight he lacked, but he knew _his _Shepard pretty damn well. He also knew drugs affected her differently since Cerberus rebuilt her. Her cybernetics was far more advanced than anything the Alliance had for their biotics division. They helped her heal faster, recover from toxins, and her energy was boundless. She also ate like a growing teenage boy, never gaining an ounce of flesh in the process.

_His_ Shepard has lost the will to fight. He despised admitting such a thing. With all her upgrades, if she fought to survive, she would.

"How long was she in heart failure before you stabilized her?" Kaidan inquired. He knew time was crucial. The longer her heart stopped beating, and lack of oxygen, the worse the prognosis was for her to ever wake up again.

"Twenty-five minutes." The doctor confessed. He hadn't sugar coated her condition, nor did he hide the grim look on his face. "Someone will have to decide whether we keep her on life support after we run an MRI and MEG. If the statistics are too low for debate, we have the authority to make the call.

"Thank you, doctor," the major said sadly. "May I go see her?"

The doctor checked the time, twice, tapped a few things onto a datapad, and then told him he could spend a few moments before they took brought up the equipment for testing.

"Depending on the outcome of the test, major, I'd be prepared to make the necessary calls. If there is anyone needing to say goodbye, you may wish to gather them soon."

Kaidan nodded mutely and turned to enter Shepard's room. The monitors were nearly deafening. He looked past all she was hooked up to, and realized she was wasting away more every hour.

_LET ME GO, PLEASE. _

No longer only seeing the text on the datapad, Kaidan could hear her voice loud and clear, begging him for release. Pleading for peace. Would she have asked anyone who happened to be in the room, or was it because it was him sitting there? For some reason, he found solace in this, if she still had that much trust in him.

"Shepard, I don't know if you can hear me, but since you can't toss me out of the room with a biotic throw, I'll say what I need to."

He chuckled, remembering the echo of her words when he was feigning sleep when she visited him for the first time at Huerta Memorial Hospital. He knew it was wrong, but he also knew she'd talk more freely if she thought no one could hear her.

"I really screwed up, with us, with you, and myself. I let my shock color my true feelings when I saw you on Horizon. I wanted to believe you were alive, but at the same time, it would have been easier if the rumor wasn't true.

Kaidan took her hand into his. She felt so small - a stark contrast of the woman that always seemed larger than life itself.

"I know it was selfish of me. How could you not contact me if you were truly alive? How could I mean so little to you?" he asked no one in particular. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He didn't care. "What Cerberus did for you, to you, it all seemed… impossible."

He bent down and gently kissed her cheek. "I love you, Jane, enough to abide your wishes."

The team of doctors filed into the room. It was time to do the brain activity scan. It was time to wait, and decide the fate of this woman that kept everyone else in the galaxy going - a woman that saved them all.

**ƸӜƷ**

_The desert night sky sparkled with a blanket of stars. Having been on a ship for so many years, stars seemed the normal tapestry in her life. From this view though, Shepard could appreciate the stars from a new perspective. _

"_You're back," Thane stated. "I felt you return to me." _

"_Mhmm," Shepard hummed happily. "I don't want to leave again. I belong here, and with you." _

"_I must admit, in this, we are in full agreement." Thane said. He lowered himself onto the sand next to her and pulled Shepard into his arms. "You are stronger here this time, Siha. More solid." _

_Thane's skilled hands ran up and down the length of her back. She could feel a strong desire to purr like a large cat. This caused her to giggle aloud. _

"_Something funny?" Thane asked. "Perhaps you will share your amusement?" _

_Instead of answering him, she showed him how she felt. Rolling out of his arms, she planted her knees into the sand, her wonderfully unbroken knees. Like a large jungle cat, Shepard started a lazy yet powerful seductive crawl up the length of Thane's body. _

_She hummed approvingly at the sight of his bare chest. The white cotton loose pants that tied at his waist, hung at the perfectly sculpted hip bones. The v shape of his chest to waist always had her undone. She licked her lips sensually, reveling that they were smooth again. _

_"I can show you what I was thinking," she taunted. _

"_Can you?" Thane asked dubiously. The lift at the corner of his mouth said otherwise. He knew exactly how she planned to show him. _

_With lightning speed reflexes, Thane snaked his arms around Shepard's waist and rolled her over and pinned her in place. "Perhaps I will be the one to show you what is on my mind instead." _

Stepping out of the hospital room, Kaidan called over his comm to the Normandy crew. "All to the hall outside Shepard's room, ASAP."

Everyone had acknowledged his orders, and he took a seat back on the cold metal bench.

_So this is what it's like, making the hard choices. I never envied this about your position, Jane. _

Kaidan looked up and viewed the procession down the hall. On any other day or circumstance, it would have been comical. Joker was at the lead, slowly hobbling his way to the meeting point. The rest of the crew followed behind him, all walking awkwardly with the slow pace. James and Cortez were nowhere to be seen.

Joker uncharacteristically saluted the major. This took Kaidan back a step and he raised a single brow questioningly.

"What? It's not like I _never_ stand on protocol," Joker said defensively.

"Actually, Jeff, it is exactly that," Liara teased.

Joker relaxed his stance and turned to Liara. "Embrace eternity," he fired back, and sat on the metal bench the major had just vacated.

Ignoring Jeff's remarks, Liara turned back to the major. "Any news about Shepard, Kaidan?"

Kaidan ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. "Shepard went into cardiac arrest," before he could say more, the audible gasps from the crew broke his momentum. This was going to be harder than he first assumed.

"Goddess, how long?" asked Liara.

"Have they stabilized her?" Tali asked.

Javik stood stoically, seemingly to be absorbing the emotions around him.

Garrus removed his visor. Everyone seemed to glance over at the turian. Kaidan thought back to the time he'd met Garrus, and couldn't remember ever seeing him without it. The turian blinked several times before placing the visor back on.

Do turians cry?

The major gave a pat on his friend's shoulder and attempted once again to share the news about Shepard's condition.

"Shepard was in heart failure for twenty-five minutes before they were able to get a pulse. She is fully on life support now."

The entire crew stopped hiding their emotions. Even Javik seemed emotional.

Cortez and James came briskly down the corridor and broke the trance of sadness that threatened to overwhelm them all. Liara brought the two men up to speed regarding their commander. Cortez openly let his tears fall, while James became agitated and more surly. Kaidan assumed it was the lieutenant's way of coping and let him be.

Looking at each face, Kaidan realized they all loved Shepard in some way or another. Albeit respect, hero worship, long time friendships that had developed under the most dire of times, or matters of the heart. The major knew Jane would be missed for years to come, by them, and by the entire galaxy. She was a living legend.

It was Javik that sprang into action. He stormed Shepard's hospital room and tossed a mild biotic throw, sending the medical staff against the wall. They were not hurt, but they were visibly in shock.

"Remove these contraptions, now!" Javik commanded. "I will examine the commander myself. Your primitive methods are inferior."

Javik stood at Shepard's bedside. He waited while the medical staff scrambled to remove the equipment from the commander's body. They had just concluded their test, and had no idea how to deal with a fifty-thousand year old prothean.

Once clear of what Javik considered primitive and barbaric test, he placed both hands on Shepard and went into a deep meditation. All eyes watched and waited.


	2. Closure

**AN/ So, I said only two chapters, yes? I guess I sort of lied. There will be an epilogue following chapter two. I could not consciously give you, the readers, a bunch of fluff and sexy time, after the tone at the end of this chapter. It seemed… very wrong. :D**

**Thank you, my dear husband, for your OCD beta skills! **

**I hope you all enjoy! Let me know, if you are so inclined. **

**oOo**

**Closure **

"I'm not accustomed to you being so… full of stamina," Shepard said appraisingly.

The quick graceful force Thane used to turn the tides on her, took her by surprise. Despite his illness in life, he'd always managed to stay fit, but his lungs now filled with air, effortlessly.

Thane's vibrating sound of pure content rumbled through her. "All right, show me," she challenged.

Agile fingers slowly, teasingly, slid the zipper to her N7 hoodie down until the fabric lay at her sides. The thin cotton tank-top she was wearing underneath clung to her skin. Thane placed his hands on either side of her ribs, careful not to tickle her. He lowered his head and pushed the fabric with his mouth to expose her bellybutton. Shepard never understood his fascination with her little innie. He said it was because Drell didn't have them, and he was sure hers was the most perfect of all human bellybuttons. It made her grin every time he would grumble a purr of contentment when he saw it.

"Flawless," Thane praised. "I shall never tire of this little innie, as you refer to it."

Shepard fully laughed this time. How he could heat her up, and make her giddy all at the same time, she'd revel in this for an eternity.

He tugged at the fabric of her jacket. "I have to wonder why you came into the afterlife wearing your N7 hoodie."

Briefly, she considered her attire. She shrugged. "It's comfortable."

A strange tingling sensation in her mind caused her to stop cold.

"Siha?" Thane questioned, concerned.

She could hear him, feel him, but her mind had been seized. She had no control over the peculiar sense she was not alone in her own head.

"_You will stop this curious wondering, Commander," _

"_What the hell? Javik_?"_ she asked, incredulous. "I must be going mad."_

_"I thought you were mad, even before this," he replied. "Before you become embarrassed, I'd stop the Drell from his ministrations. We must discuss the predicament you are currently in."_

Thane watched as Shepard's eyes were fixed and looking off at nothing in particular. Panic arose when she would not respond to him calling her name.

"Siha. Please. Hear me, feel my presence," he pleaded.

Her eyelids fluttered and she focused on her lover. "Javik, the prothean… he's in my head!"

"Ah," he stated, as if it were all clear to him. "Asari can do something similar,"

"I'm so glad it makes sense to you - this is creepy!" she said with a shudder. "Oh yeah. We may want to, um…"

Shepard pulled her hoodie together and Thane took her cue, removed himself from over her, and he lay back onto the warm sand and waited.

Shepard let her thoughts return to the strange presence in her mind.

"_Javik, I am not even going to ask how the hell you got into my head. I hope there is a reason for this, other than general mating curiosity."_

_The prothean snorted, or at least the equivalent of a snort. "Do not flatter yourself, Commander. These primitives have decided their inferior tests would determine whether you live or die." _

_Jane was struck dumb. She knew she was hooked to machines, although, when she was here with Thane, she nearly had forgotten all that. As if the entire scene was a distant dream. _

"_So you took over and, what? Decided to barge your way into my head and decide for yourself?" _

"_No," was all he offered. _

"_No, to which question?" Shepard asked, becoming frustrated with him. _

"_These imbeciles decided for me. As for me determining whether you live or die? That is not for me to decide. Only you can choose your fate." _

"_I have chosen," she said with absolution. "Kaidan is aware of what I wanted." _

"_The simpering, love struck Major is of no mind for such a heady decision. You will tell me now, what is it you want?" _

"_Just like that, huh?" Shepard asked. "Whatever I tell you, you'll see that it's done?" _

"_If your argument is convincing and I believe you, then yes." Javik agreed. "I will see to it one way or another." _

"_I…I have to convince you?" she asked. Was he serious? Of course he is. Javik was always serious. _

"_Time is short, Commander. I cannot maintain this connection indefinitely," he ordered. "I suspect your Drell had other plans that did not involve a prothean in your mind." _

"_No kidding," she said dryly. "Nice timing, by the way." _

"_You're welcome," Javik retorted, mockingly. _

_Shepard mentally rolled her eyes. She'd never understand the prothean, although, she respected him on some level. What did she want? She was so sure, and now faced with the question, she felt it only right to consider everything. Lives after the Reapers, seeing the galaxy rebuild, and recover. Her crew, she believed would be fine, more than fine, they were all strong intelligent people. They'd prevail and pursue a life without the threat of extinction. _

_She was once needed, and the expectations placed upon her nearly compromised her own mental health. She fought from a breakdown, more than once. _

"_My time is over, Javik. If not for those machines, I'd have been gone already. I knew when I chose to destroy the Reapers, my life was forfeit. I knew my purpose was completed. It was a small price, sacrificing the one, for the many. I willingly made that sacrifice. I was ready to say goodbye. I still am". _

_The silence stretched for several minutes. She had to wonder if Javik lost connection with her._

"_Javik," she called to him. "It is time for peace in the galaxy. And it is time for my own peace. I am unwavering in this."_

"_Yes Commander," he finally acknowledged. "Live well in your afterlife. You have given me hope that I will see my brethren again."_

"_Goodbye Javik," she said sadly. "Tell everyone, stay sharp and live life to the fullest… And Javik?"_

"_Yes, Commander?" _

"_Tell your people, we did it. All of us." _

_Javik faded from her mind, freeing her to the present and the very handsome drell waiting by her side. _

Javik disengaged himself from Shepard, removing his hands from her skin, and straightened his posture into a parade-rest.

"Her mind is lost to this world. The Commander has moved on," the prothean informed them all. "Turn off these machines, and let her die with a warrior's dignity."

No one moved or made a sound. The room's atmosphere turned eerie and somber.

Major Alenko broke the thick silence. When he spoke, his voice crackled with a deep, soul wrenching sorrow. "If no one objects," he nodded towards the doctors. "Perhaps we would each like a private moment to say our goodbyes."

A slow procession commenced without a single word. The doctors filed out of the room, followed by the Normandy crew.

"Major Alenko," called the team-lead of the medical staff. "When the last has said their farewells, I will personally remove life-support from the Commander. We will dose her with some extra morphine, to assure when her body fails, she will suffer no pain."

Kaidan nodded his agreement and walked over to the rest of the crew. He noticed Joker leaning up against the wall looking exhausted.

"Hey, Joker," Kaidan called to him. Jeff was slightly ashen and his posture told him, Joker was physically suffering. "Go on in, and then take some leave time. A couple days of R&R will do you some good."

Joker looked as if he might get defensive. He never liked being coddled over his disease. Kaidan watched as Jeff took a deep breath, and nodded his head in agreement.

**ooo**

Joker entered Shepard's room and took a seat next to the bed.

"Commander," he began. "I have no idea what Prothy the Prothean found when he did his freaky physiology connection thing, with you. Since he takes everything so seriously, I guess I won't challenge him on this."

He looked at Shepard's waxen skin, not the woman, or commander he'd known for years. Not the hard-ass leader that could switch out a gun in twenty seconds flat, and get in a headshot from 30 meters away. Not—not the woman that took the time to make sure everyone else was okay, before her own needs.

That woman had left, and seeing her like this, motionless in a hospital bed, had been exponentially wrong on so many levels.

"Yeah well… It was an honor, Shepard. I'll call up the council for you, just to give them a good hanging-up. You know, for old time's sake."

Joker stumbled slightly when rising from his chair. Just before he exited her room, he turned his head. "Tell Thane, hey."

He left to rejoin the others.

**_ooo_**

"Shepard…" Garrus drawled. "I hope you are enjoying those drinks at the bar. You earned them, and more."

Garrus removed his visor once again, and hooked it over the Commander's bed rails. His mandibles flared and his next words were choked with emotion.

"If you really can look down on all of us, be sure to knock first. You humans have a strange fixation with ghosts, and it always seems to happen in dark scary places," he teased with a watery chuckle.

Pulling the sniper rifle off his shoulder, he extended Widow and placed it in front of Jane. "See that," he pointed to the barrel of his gun. "J.S.S. – your initials. A rifle this sexy and badass needed a good name."

Garrus fixed his visor back in place, locked J.J.S. back onto his shoulder and saluted the Commander. "This isn't goodbye, Shepard. You'll be here," he placed a hand over his chest. "And here," he said, tapping his head. "For the rest of my life."

**ooo**

Tali sat in silence next to Shepard's bedside. Her sniffles were oddly distorted through her environmental mask.

"Quarian face masks have a design flaw. They become fogged up if we cry. I can't see a thing," she babbled. "Once the cleanup is under way, maybe I'll work on a new strategy. Anti-fog face masks. I could have easily found my future fortune."

Fidgeting in her seat, Tali started fiddling with a vase full of withering flowers. "I could really use your advice about now," she said timidly. "James, ah…Vega. I think he is flirting with me. It's so hard for me to tell these things. I know he would harmlessly flirt with you."

Tali pulled some dead petals off one of the flowers, nervously. "I think I'd like him to actually _be _flirting with me," she said with a giggle. "He's a hot head, sure. There is more underneath all the jokes and bravado, isn't there?"

With a deep sigh, she looked over at her Commander's face – her friend – her sister of sorts. Like the big sister she never had. One who was always ready to give advice, listened, and had her back, no matter what.

"I know, I know. If I want more, I have to go for it," Tali replied as if Shepard had been advising her. She smiled to herself. "Maybe I'll ask him out for a triple filtered beer."

Tali rose from her seat and patted Shepard's hand. "Goodbye, Shepard. I will take all I have learned from you, and get the guy this time. You can't have all the fun, after all."

**ooo**

Liara sat the time-capsule device she had created while the crew was gathering forces. She selected a timed section of the video message.

"I won't play the parts you've already heard, Shepard. I added the rest after the destruction of the Reapers. I hope you like it."

Liara's image popped up and she pressed the start button.

Earth – Year 2185:

Today, we gain our freedom. Today, the Reapers have been eradicated, and the galaxy races can live their lives, no longer facing extinction.

Jane Siobhain Shepard, not only brought all species together in a united stand to face down those who would seek to harvest and preserve our races, she led them all to victory.

We will remember all those we lost in the years to come.

EDI. More than a space vessel A.I. EDI was our friend and saved the lives of the Normandy's crew several times over. She was unique, with her will to learn all behaviors throughout the galaxy. She found her own slice of a soul in this vast universe.

The Geth: A sorely misunderstood synthetic race created by the Quarians. The Geth joined the galaxy forces in the end, after being a part of conflict for over three centuries.

Legion, our unlikely friend and Geth, showed us all the misconceptions of their race. The will to survive these synthetics developed, was due to self-preservation. How can an A.I. develop such a thing? To understand, the other species must learn from our own mistakes.

Create with care.

Commander Shepard would not agree when I say we have her to thank for all of our lives. She would tell me – (We stand together, or we fail. Not a single one of us can make the difference_._ We all stand together. We all fight. For those we love. For our neighbors. For the children who need us the most. For the future the Reapers wanted to take from us.

We fight, or we die. )

Liara quietly shut down the time-capsule and gathered it, holding it protectively. She bent down and kissed Shepard on the forehead. "I'll miss you, my friend," she solemnly said, and silently left the room.

**ooo**

James moved the chair from Shepard's bedside and paced the length of her bed; unspent frustration and energy promising to explode from every cell of his tense body.

"How could you just go out like that, Commander?" he asked angrily. "You said you'd show me the ropes. I accepted this damn N7 position. And what? You go out in a blaze of glory, leaving the rest of us behind. Selfish, no?"

His pace picked up force and speed. James' hands became animated, flailing about while having some sort of internal struggle.

"I'm getting a new tattoo, Shepard. I think you'll like it. Your name across my ass cheek," he said with a bitter laugh. "It'll remind me of the time you kicked it. Good times…"

James calmed himself and lifted the chair he pushed out of the way, turning it backwards and sat with a leg on each side. He propped his elbows on the back of the chair and ground the heels of his hands on his forehead. When he looked up, he took stock of the Commander lying in the bed. She appeared small, lifeless, and her skin pale and unnatural.

"Dammit. Damn you, Shepard," he cried. "I am not even mad at you, not really. You pulled me from a dark place, yes? I'm just shaking in my shit, worried I'll slip back. I won't have you to thump my ass, and pull me out."

He laughed again, this time with less anger.

"I think I'll ask Sparks on a real date. I don't know how all that will work, but I'm going to give it a try," he vowed. "I saw a picture of her, Commander. I gotta say, hot, one hundred percent, calienta."

James left Shepard's room after a soldier's salute. He decided life was too fragile, and he had a certain Quarian he needed to see.

**ooo**

Steve Cortez sat with Shepard, quiet, and gently held her hand. He had few words to be spoken, and said a silent prayer.

Before he left, he told her. "I met someone while doing rescue flights – another pilot. I think you'd like him. I owe that to you, Commander. Thank you."

**ooo**

Javik declined a final goodbye claiming he already had his time. Kaidan was last to enter Shepard's room.

The major stared down at Jane, his words caught in his throat. He cleared the phantom blockage several times before he spoke.

"Hey, Shepard," he said as he took her hand into his. "So this is it, huh? I am unsure which is worse, never finding you after the crucible activated, or seeing you lie in this bed knowing you are leaving this world."

He pressed the palm of her hand against his cheek. "You are my first love, did you know that?"

Tears flowed freely, droplets staining the hospital sheets tucked neatly around Shepard's lifeless body.

"I told you I have few regrets in life. Losing you would be one of them. Having the privilege to know you, to love you, regardless of the outcome made it all worth it."

Kaidan laid his head on Shepard's stomach, his words muffled into the fabric of her hospital gown. "I hate this – letting you go. Knowing it is the right thing to do. I want to be selfish, Jane. I want more time…time to be one hundred percent sure you won't come back to us. To me." he said. The Major lifted his head; he looked up at her face. "But I already know, it…it's tearing me up inside. You don't want to come back."

Kaidan wiped his eyes with his sleeve and stood up. Taking a step to the head of her bed, he bent down and placed a tender kiss on her lips.

"Because I love you. Goodbye, Jane."

Kaidan opened the door to her room, and nodded for the doctor to come in. It was time.

A nurse injected fifteen milligrams of morphine in Shepard's IV. The doctor documented the time, and proceeded to shut off the ventilator that sustained Jane's body.

Not a single intake of breath, a flutter of eye activity, nothing. Jane Shepard was pronounced dead.

Earth day: Wednesday, September fourth at 18:00.

The galaxy will mourn. They will also celebrate.

The Normandy crew filed out of the hospital in silence.

"I think we need to find an open bar and get piss drunk," said Garrus.

The search was on.


	3. Faith

**AN:** So, I lied once again. First, this was to be a one-shot. Then, two chapters with an epilogue. Final result? Five chapters with an epilogue. I totally blame the characters. They are up to full-on shenanigans!

Also, Thank you Wintryone, who also has brilliant Dragon Age stories to read. And my awesome husband, whose keen eye catches all my typos.

BioWare owns all: aside from my Shepard's personality. Let me know what you think!

**Chapter Three**

**Faith**

**ƸӜƷ**

Her body felt denser - warm, and permanent. Thane loosely kept a hand on her arm while Javik engaged conversation with her in his odd prothean ways.

He had met the fifty-thousand year old prothean once during the attack on the Citadel. The encounter had been too brief for Thane to exchange words with the ancient warrior. The Citadel was under attack, and Thane was mortally injured, thus, propelling the events that ended his physical life.

Now his Siha was here. Thane considered the possibilities. How had a human come to the afterlife, he knew to be only for the drell, or those who shared his spiritual beliefs? More to the point - how did someone with no faith of her own, come to be here? He wasn't complaining by any means, although, he couldn't help but marvel at the phenomenon.

A slight shifting under his hand pulled him away from his inner musings. He looked down at her now unscarred face and a smile brightened her entire expression.

"So…" Shepard drawled. "That was awkward."

Knowing she meant her chat with Javik, he wanted to ask about the conversation, but instead, something else came to the forefront of his mind.

"You are no longer in the _in-between_, Siha."

It wasn't a question. Merely an observation, and a sensation he felt deeply. They were now fully connected. Thane wondered if his imagination was playing tricks on him, or perhaps the hereafter had a different set of rules for lovers who joined together in this place.

Fingertips playfully traced the musculature of his chest. Thane's body tensed and a pulse of pleasure soared through him like never before. He could feel her desire, mixed with his own. The force that melded their needs brought on a drug-like intoxication.

Swiftly, before the overwhelming urges took over, Thane reached for her hand, and pressed it against his chest. Colors swam distractedly in his mind, but they needed to talk – she needed to adjust to her new surroundings. Mostly, he needed to understand how she could be here. He'd hoped that one day, his Siha would return to him. Doubt crept in because she had no beliefs and her soul would be lost. He prayed for her more than once.

Had she believed?

Her pout was disarming. Thane chuckled. "Ever so patient, in life, and thereafter."

Shepard's sly grin did nothing for his resolve. How he loved when she was full of mischief.

"Is there any reason we shouldn't take advantage of this amazing sunset, and the sounds of waves crashing over the rocks? It's like romantic music, but better," Shepard encouraged. Her fingers wiggled underneath his hand, searching for an escape to continue on her determined path.

Tightening his hand around hers, he impeded her escape, and her distraction attempts, barely. "We have an eternity to explore this," Thane said. He couldn't help but be amused by her emphasized pout. "I wish to understand how it is you are here."

Consternation set into her features. She sat up and pulled away, just slightly. "Does it matter? I'm here, we're here together. That's all that we need to know."

Thane shifted his weight so that he could pull her into his arms. He could see her confusion and most likely had misinterpreted his questioning. "My heaven," he said as he held her more tightly. "Is for us to be together. Our time together in life was short. Two people from different worlds, in which came together - a perfect love, shaped in an imperfect universe."

Her body relaxed and she let her head rest on his shoulder. "You want to understand how I ended up here," she simply stated. She knew him well, knew his need to understand. That part of him would never change, not even here.

Shepard grew quiet for a moment. She drew her head away from his shoulder, and looked up into his eyes. "Would knowing _why_, change anything?"

He considered that for a moment, and asked his own question. "Will you indulge me, just a little?"

A slender finger covered his lips. A gleam in Siha's eyes that promised shenanigans and coercion. "Kiss me," she nearly demanded.

Thane's eyebrow rose quizzically.

"What?" she asked innocently." You want to talk, I want a kiss. Surely, that's a small price to pay for me to, indulge you?"

There was no resisting her. Although, Thane flashed her a dubious expression. She sniggered. She would win her bartered kiss, and he was all too willing.

Already tucked under his arm, Thane pulled Jane onto his lap by scooping her up under her legs with his other arm. The kiss started out soft, sweet, and gentle. She wasn't having any of that. Her arms curled around his neck, and she pulled his head down to deepen the kiss, their passion was explosive as their lips parted, allowing her to explore with her tongue.

Entangled as they were, their passion blended together, creating a muddled set of emotions merged together in this place. He could feel her, every facet of mind and body. Her desire rang through him, singing to his senses, calling him to her, and his body answered with a fervor he'd never known before. Not like this.

Astonished, her hands moved over him, all the places he'd sought after in his mind. She instinctively knew. She had been feeling this connection as well, and he was certain she had just accepted it as her own emotional state.

Again, colors swirled through his thoughts. He idly wondered if this was what she experienced after being exposed to long sessions of contact with his skin when they were in the mortal world. She had reveled in the high she received when they were coupled together. He found it fascinating, and felt a little envious of her enhanced euphoria. Seeing her climb to unimaginable heights during their love making quelled any envy. She took his breath away during her ascent to ecstasy.

A familiar voice drifted with the warm breeze. The tickling sensation niggled at him. A voice he knew well, and too close for comfort in this predicament.

_Irikah_

Slowly pulling away from the frenzied kiss, Thane gently softened the embrace, and lifted his head slightly and whispered in Jane's ear. "We have company."

"Wha…" Jane muttered unintelligibly. She reached for him again, and he pulled himself further away.

"Irikah is here," he explained.

Jane jumped up with preternatural speed. "Damn-shit-damn," she said, hopping around to straighten out her clothing. "Am I a dead woman? Has she ever contacted you before now?"

A second string of impressive expletives escaped Shepard's mouth, and she leaned against a set of jutted rocks, attempting to appear casual, yet, the look of guilt highlighted her features.

"We have met a few times in this place," he said simply. He hadn't had the chance to tell her even minor things, let alone his time spent with Irikah.

Shepard had never been jealous. Even when a young asari maiden had taken a shining to Thane, his Siha had been more flattered than threatened. She had even gone as far as to tease him over it.

This was different. This was more personal.

Jane had told him upon his deathbed, he would not be alone for long. She had promised to meet him by the sea. Words to a dying man, or a solemn promise - he wasn't sure at the time. Her lack of faith had made her words unfathomable. If she could not touch it, or see it, it couldn't be real. Thane believed that perhaps the Reapers had changed some of her preconceived notions in that regard.

The universe had many unexplained mysteries.

"I can do this, right? I saved a galaxy, this is like baking a cake," she babbled, and then a deep frown formed on her lips. "I don't know how to bake."

He wanted to laugh. She never realized how amusing she could be without even trying. He kept his expression calm, however, but couldn't resist a little teasing of his own. "I do not love you for your baking skills."

"Well, thank goodness…" she said, trailing her words, her thoughts shifted in rapid succession. "Wait…you have already seen her here? Spent time with her?"

Irikah had been making her way over to them, and he needed to speak quickly.

"She sought me out, felt my arrival, as I did yours. She introduced me to her soul mate," he tried to explain, clearly, and quickly as possible.

"Her…wait, what?" Jane asked, incredulous.

He felt the edges of his lips rise. It had taken all his will not to grin as realization dawned on her. Irikah had not been waiting for him. She was not alone, nor had his Siha stolen his former wife's place. He had tried to explain to her, his beliefs on love. How love could manifest differently throughout one's life.

Irikah had woken him. Siha had saved him, and he her. Together, they were bonded, harmonized for one another, even if she had not believed in such things at the time.

"So, what? People can hook-up in the hereafter?" she asked, still seemingly out of sorts.

"So it would seem," Thane answered her, and he felt more than relieved that she was processing it all quickly.

Both, he and Jane turned their gaze toward a beautiful turquoise colored drell. The dark puce markings on her skin, a complimentary contrast to the natural greenish-blue hues, enhanced her striking features. Her eyes were dark like Thane's, although, unlike the faint shades of green in his irises, Irikah's were violet.

"Beautiful," Shepard whispered in awe.


	4. Met Your Match

**AN/ **Two more chapters and we're done with this one! This is a short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. 20,000 miles of air travel, and now a resident of Merry Ole England, I've been crazy busy.

Thanks to all that have stopped by, left comments, favorite, and or following!

Without further ado

ƸӜƷ

**Met Your Match **

Thane sat quietly watching Shepard carefully. She hadn't seemed to take a defensive posture, nor did he truly believe she would, but always cautious made him one of the galaxies most infamous assassins. To her credit, as Irikah approached, Jane appeared curious.

Irikah simply nodded in Thane's direction, and proceeded toward Shepard. The look on his Siha's face struck him with amusement. She was befuddled and dumbstruck. What happened next must have painted near the same expression on his own features; Irikah embraced Jane. A full-on, arms wrapped tightly, in an all-encompassing hug.

Jane's plea over Irikah's shoulder while awkwardly returning the gesture had him at a loss and he simply shrugged.

His former wife pulled away from his present love and smiled up at her. "I had to meet the woman that saved my son and thank her personally. It is a miraculous thing, being able to show my gratitude personally."

"Yes… a miracle of death," Jane blurted nervously. "And I'll just add _macabre_ to my list of inappropriate traits."

Irikah grinned and then looked back at Thane. "She's funny, too."

"Too?" Shepard asked. "As in, also, which would mean you've already been given a list?"

Thane felt the heat of Jane's glare before he acknowledged it. When he looked into her eyes, he wasn't seeing anger, but confusion. "Irikah and I have discussed you, not at length, sharing your… finer points."

"Uh-huh," she said skeptically. "Did he admit I'm a better shot than him?"

"Perhaps you are, but I aim with more grace, and less destruction," he said coyly.

Jane rolled her eyes. "Destruction makes the target angry—easier to shoot them when they're already pissed at me."

Irikah cleared her throat, ultimately stopping the 'whose gun is bigger' contest.

"My apologies," Thane offered. "I assure you, it is all good natured."

"Of course it is," his former wife agreed. "Or she wouldn't be here, I wouldn't think."

Irikah sat in the sand and patted the space next to her. "Come sit with me please, Jane. May I call you Jane?"

Shepard shrugged. "No reason to stand on titles here, and it would be a nice change of pace for me. I hear my given name, and I never bother looking anymore. I naturally assume it is for someone else."

Irikah's bright smile turned sorrowful. "You have no one close to you, that you so rarely hear your birth name?"

"It's not like that," Shepard assured Irikah. "More like a military thing, really."

"Jane has—had," Thane corrected himself, "friends quite close and fiercely devoted to her."

"A few," Shepard agreed with a wistful smile.

After a short time, Thane settled back and quietly observed his former wife, and his Siha chatting. Irikah had gone on, much to Jane's embarrassment, how Kolyat's life had been altered for the better, all due to Shepard's efforts. He secretly smiled when Jane refused to take all of the credit, accolading him and his own efforts regarding he and Irikah's son.

Feeling a part of the scenery, the two women spoke in hushed tones, and more than once, feminine giggling irrupted. Thane couldn't help wonder if the laughter was from some of his and Shepard's adventures, or if he was in the role humans called: the butt of the joke. Knowing neither woman would be cruel with their memories, he chimed in, curiosity getting the better of him.

"May I be enlightened over what has you both amused, or is this exclusively a woman to woman tête-à-tête?" Thane asked.

He went through his many memories of the past, and it occurred to him, he'd never been in the presence of two people together, who'd known him so thoroughly. His life had been a solitary one, even married to Irikah, her family never truly knew him. She had kept false pretences regarding his career, even to them.

"We're just comparing notes," Jane teased with a huge grin on her face.

Irikah looked between her former husband and Shepard, and then shook her head. "I believe you have met your match, Thane."

Unable to hide his own grin, he conceded to Irikah's assessment. "So it would seem."

"I think he realized that the night we met," Jane began to explain. "I gave him the perfect distraction—"

Irikah interrupted saying, "And have been distracting him ever since?"

Shepard rolled her shoulders, a habit even with no old injuries giving her pain any longer. "You could say that. He claims I confound him at any given opportunity."

Irikah stood, patted Jane on the shoulder, and then walked over to Thane. "I must take my leave now. My dinner date is nearing and I am famished. Be sure to show Jane how to be naughty. It'll do her some good and give her peace of mind, as well."

The couple said their farewells, and watched as the female Drell made her way back to wherever she'd come from. Shepard shifted herself and sat next to Thane. Raising a single brow, she asked, "How to be naughty?"

Quirking his lip into a crooked grin, he replied tauntingly. "In due time."

"So that's how it's going to be, Krios? Fine. We'll sort that one after food and a shower," she huffed, slightly put off by his teasing humor. "Your match, lover. Just saying"

He rose to his feet and pulled her up into an embrace. "Come with me," he whispered into her ear. "I have something I wish to show you."

"Is there food and a shower?"

"All that you desire, Siha."

"All, huh?" she asked, her voice slightly husky.

"All," he whispered into her ear once more, nipping the lobe. The sensation was as before. He could feel the effects of her excitement. The nip of her lobe tingled his own.

There was much to discover in this place, for the both of them.


End file.
